Today is a GREAT day.

Today I hit 25 pounds lost! I know it isn’t a lot, but for me it feels like a small victory! For the past 4 years, I watched as the scale continued to go up, slowly day in and day out. As the scale went up, my confidence went down. For the longest time I felt unmotivated, incapable and completely and utterly like a disappointment.

I have struggled my whole life with this battle. I felt defeated, and I had no one to blame except myself.

But finally I had had enough.

10 weeks ago me and my husband joined the gym and changed our lifestyles. The first day walking into the gym was so daunting. Was I going to be able to do this?? Will everybody judge me? Will they understand that I couldn’t go as hard or as fast as them?? All these questions and insecurities rolled around in my head. But I swallowed them down, let go of my pride and put my headphones on. I decided it didn’t matter. I was doing this for me….and as long as I knew I was giving it my all, that is all that mattered.

That first day was hell. EVERYTHING made me feel weak, everything made me pant, I could barely do 5 min of cardio without wanting to give up. But I didn’t give up. Everyday I came back a little stronger, able to do a little more. I have a long way to go still but I am proud of how far I have come! I started out being able to only do about 3 minutes on the stair climber, now I can do 20! PLUS we add another 20 minutes of some sort of Cardio. Not every day is great, some days I am tired and sore and I leave the gym  feeling like it wasn’t my best workout, but some days I leave drenched in sweat and completely worn out because I pushed myself to the max.

When my muscles are screaming, when sweat is pouring into my eyes, when I can barely breathe….I hear this voice in my head pushing/screaming at me….one more minute….one more rep, and then when that minute passes, I go for another, when I think I can’t do another rep, I try my best to do another. And I tell you what, the results are starting to pay off!! And as hard and embarrassing it was for me to show this picture, I feel it truly reflects where I started, and how far I have come.

12930748_1715599252016324_2142727080_n(1)I have lost 25 pounds….but I have gained so much more. I feel for the first time in a very long time that I CAN and I WILL reach my goals. I feel stronger….physically and mentally. Not only do I see my body changing, but I feel my attitude and outlook changing.

This is not just a quick fix…I am changing 26 years of bad habits. I am creating a new lifestyle by making healthier choices. I am breaking free of these chains one day at a time.

I want to lose about another 200 pounds.

It seems daunting, but I can get there. I will get there. One pound at a time! I mean, I only have to do what I just did (25 lbs) about 8 more times…..when I look at it that way, I know I got this. One minute at a time….one day at a time…one pound at a time.

This road wont be easy….but it will be worth it.