WOW. It has simply been to long. My last blog post was May 9th. Sad to say, I have not been as dedicated to my fitness/weight loss journey as I would have liked. I have not gained weight back (Or at least not much), but I have not progressed either.
As I sit here and reflect on the reason for this, I know there are many, many reasons and might I add excuses.
The past couple of months have led to many great things, none of which had to do anything with my fitness journey, but rather my spiritual journey.
My husband and I went on a vacation to Colorado in the beginning of June…and my oh my it was beautiful. This anticipated trip is one of the big reasons we started working out again, so that we could enjoy all that Colorado had to offer.
Little did we know, that God had bigger plans for us. We started the trip with visit to my hometown, the one that I grew up from age 11-18. I had not been back to this town in nearly 8 years…and going back opened up a lot of old wounds that I thought were healed. I had to encounter and face things that I had buried deep deep down. This was step one.
After our beautiful trip to Colorado, I wish that I could say we came back refreshed and rejuvenated, but that was not the case. We had invested so much hope in this trip, hope that it would restore and fulfill us, but it fell short. And here we were again…back to the norm…back to the same jobs and the same struggles. Here’s to another year….another year of blah. This was step two.
SO I of course didn’t blog during my vacation, and then a week after coming back I had wisdom tooth surgery….which did not really have any big impact on my life other then I couldn’t eat my normal diet or workout for a couple weeks! But as I recovered Matt and I were thinking about the 4th of July, we both had a three day weekend and were not sure what to do.
Our families are hundreds of miles and countless hours away, we don’t have any friends to do anything with, we don’t have a community that we are involved in….so what do we do? Well we decided to go to Chicago for the weekend, we had never been and it was only 5 hours away! So we grew excited for this adventure and to knock another notch off of our bucket list. Again hopes were high, and expectations grew as we anticipated this adventure. Step three.
So we get to Chicago. And it was….well it was blah. Yes it was BEAUTIFUL, stunning in fact, but something did not feel right. It was crowded, busy, hectic, hateful and vain. At one point Matt and I were walking on the Magnificent Mile, we had just visited the bean and were walking back to our hotel, and we were in this massive line/crowd that was all walking in the same direction as us. We looked around….and realized that we were blindly following those in front of us. We were all going to the same place it seemed, but with out question, with out doubt we were all blindly following one another.
Matt and I stopped….we stepped out of this massive crowd, and we looked around and saw a lot of hurt, broken and lost people…and we realized, we were one of them. That was step Four.
In the bible it talks about choosing to walk through the narrow gate rather then the wide gate….Sure the wide gate is easier, and thats what everyone is doing…but it doesn’t lead you to heaven, it doesn’t lead you to God, it leads you to pain, sorrow, destruction and ultimately Hell.
After that 4th of July weekend, God has done a lot of work in me and Matt’s life. He has opened our eyes to many, many things. One of those things being the Idols we have in our life….and there were many. One of them was actually working out! Sure it is good for us, but it was yet another thing that we became obsessive about, another thing we used to try and find fulfillment. Another thing we tried to do ourselves!
There are many other Idols that God has made us aware of and is helping us to overcome! God is stirring our hearts like never before, he is waking us up from a long coma, he is breathing new life into our lungs. He has great things planned for us, great plans to use us to be the light in a dark world. Plans to use us according to his purpose. Plans to help his name and love be known. Plans to give us a HOPE and a FUTURE.
So friends, although there is much more I could share, and much more I could say, I will leave you with this. Yes, Matt and I will continue on our fitness journey, for I still want to lose weight and be a healthy happy me! BUT we will do it with a heart for JESUS! Instead of wanting to get fit and healthy for our own vanity, we want to do it so God can use us for his work, we want to do it so we can honor this temple, this life he has given us. AND lastly, we will not let it become an IDOL, we will not let it become more important then our God.
So this blog will be a little different, I still want to share my thoughts, my journey, and recipes….but I am going to do it in a way that honors and includes God. We are returning to the Lord, and how sweet it is to be back in his presence.